Improve Your Communication Skills
by Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D.
This article appeared in the Larchmont Chronicle - November, 2003

Communicating well is basic to good relationships. It doesn't matter whether they are between family members, business partners, or world leaders.

Good communication is a product of good listening. You must listen to the other person, but you must also listen to yourself, with honesty and willingness to accept what you hear. Here are some pointers to good and effective listening.

• Get rid of the idea that you have to be right. If you have an investment in being right, you have already closed down your ability to hear. Besides if you are always right that means the other person is always wrong. Does that really compute?
• Listen with an open mind. There are a lot of other ideas and perspectives out there. Many of them are good and some are better than yours.
• Repeat back what you have heard to make sure you have clearly understood what was said.
• Forget about preparing your response. Respond after you listened well. There is nothing wrong with taking your time.
• Express your own point of view and feelings honestly and with respect for the listener. These skills take discipline and practice.

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