|
Cultivating
an Open Mind
by Dr.
Dorene Lehavi Ph.D.
On the
Values page of my book there is a list from which
the reader is to choose values that reflect who they
are; the #1 values that if the person didn't practice
them, they wouldn't be true to their authentic selves.
A value at the top of my personal list is open mindedness.
No one can be completely open minded because we are,
after all, limited by our upbringing, experiences,
personalities, etc. However, I like to remind myself
that the possibilities out there in the world, the
opinions and values of others are as legitimate as
mine whether or not I agree with them.
Have you
heard of the parable about the elephant and the blind
men?
I came across this in my early teen years, and
it often helps me remember to look at all sides. In
a nutshell, blind men were asked to describe an elephant.
One blind man standing next to a leg felt it and described
it as a strong, large tree trunk. I don't remember
the exact descriptions, but you can imagine, the other
blind men felt the tail, trunk, ears, body, etc. and
came up with totally different descriptions of the
animal. They were all wrong, of course because the
elephant was much more than one of his parts, and
each part related to the whole structure in ways the
blind men could not fathom.
As I have
matured, I have, with great confidence, adopted the
often-heard phrase, “The older I get the less I know.”
To me, far from the girl who first took the parable
to be about the elephant as an exercise, I now replace
the word "elephant" with other words such as a group,
a relationship, an organization or corporation, a
family and ultimately the universe. So "the less I
know" represents the entities of the elephant which
have grown larger and larger, and in comparison, I
am smaller and can only know so much about any of
them.
It is
strange that this feeling of knowing less has actually
added to my self-confidence and well-being rather
than taken away from it. We are all blind because
we view things only from our individual vantage point.
Remembering this helps me keep an open mind. I have
my opinions about things, but I welcome hearing the
views of others. These views can only broaden my perspective
and add to my knowledge base that helps me form, confirm
or change my opinions.
One more
thing I learned in high school, which addresses this
issue another way, is the concept of "selective perception."
An example of this is, for instance, if you recently
bought a Toyota Camry, you most likely will have noticed
all the others on the road since you purchased it.
In the same vein, it's easy to fall into the trap
of selective perception when you have an opinion.
You tend to look for and notice everything out there
which validates your position, whether you are aware
of doing so or not. It is human nature.
If open
mindedness is an important value of yours, you have
to catch yourself and make an effort to always look
at other possibilities. It's interesting, adventurous
and painful because we all like to hold onto our beliefs
as the right ones. However, the fun comes when you
realize all of our vantage points; legs, trunks, Dumbo
floppy ears, snake-like tail can all live in the same
universe, and, in fact, when put together, create
something much bigger and rather fantastic.
Here's
a little exercise: Try not to need to be right and
examine other points of view as objectively as possible.
If you are always right that means others must always
be wrong, and that simply can't be right! Have fun
with it and don't take yourself too seriously.
Until
next time...
Best wishes,
Dorene
|
by Susan Jeffers
