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New
Year's Resolutions: Inside or Outside Cues?
by Dr. Dorene
Lehavi Ph.D.
© Copyright 2006
My
take on New Year's Resolutions is that you should never
make any you won't keep, otherwise you're setting yourself
up for failure. So how do you avoid the disappointment of
failing? It's done by paying attention to your inside cues—that
is knowing yourself well and treating yourself kindly.
Like
many of you, I've often resolved to start a new exercise
program, but experience has shown me that I won't stick
with it. There are many reasons why each new program failed,
but the bottom line is I was trying programs I didn't like
and simply couldn't stay motivated to do something that
"wasn't me."
Eventually
I discovered two things that I enjoyed and would keep up:
ballroom dancing, 2 times a week now for about 15 years
and Pilates for about 10. I was informed that to reap benefits
you should do Pilates 3 times a week. I knew that I wouldn't
do that, SO I committed to once a week and have not only
enjoyed a multitude of benefits, but I have stuck with the
schedule all of these years. I know if I had resolved to
3 times or even 2, I would have quit soon after I started.
Do
you use outside cues to compare yourself to others, i.e.
your exercise programs, your intelligence, your looks, your
accomplishments, your possessions, your happiness? If you
do, you are doing yourself a great disservice. Remember,
you are a unique individual. By looking outward to make
comparisons you overlook your own uniqueness. This may sound
obvious, but it is so profound that it affects all aspects
of your life.
Where do you
take your cues from? Read
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